Happyness

No one knows how I feel. How is it when you just can't see the charm in things anymore? When you just need someone to hold your hand and tell you he's there for you...'no matter what'.
I'm looking for something that maybe will never exist in my world: Happyness. It seems silly; every person sometime in its life has been happy, maybe a lot ARE happy right now. I don't know what else to do. I just need him. I just want him to know I exist! Or maybe the illusion is the only thing is left for someone like me. We will never find somehing if we don't try hard for it. But I need to know, what happens when you try harder and harder every fucking day, and NOTHING good happens? When everything you do is wrong... or maybe it's right for everybody, except for that someone you care to be right.
That's when you get frustrated. That is the word: Frustration. It's horrible & it has no look back. At least that you can find a person who makes you really happy. So happy that you can even forget about everything, that you can even do everything right, that all the bad things in the world seem good. You just don't really care, because you're happy & you don't matter about bad things. All your world seems like pink beautiful things.
I just wish maybe one day I can be happy. I don't ask for money, or anything. I'm just beggin' for some happyness, that obviously, your love can bring to me, BillKaulitz♥